Success & Happiness...A Myth or Reality?

The exhalation of achievement of a tough goal or task is momentary and not sustained for a long time. The adrenaline rush which we experience as a “run up” to the goal is more exciting than the post facto energy. Moment we achieve a goal there is a feeling of emptiness and we start focusing on next “milestone”. This is similar to feeling we get the morning after a night of celebration e.g. Christmas, Diwali etc. We long for achievements but this quickly becomes a passé on achieving them and we move onto find next purpose.

So question we need to ask ourselves is – What makes me happy? What achievements of mine will lead to long term sustainable happiness? The key to beating habituation is to pursue, what researchers call, enduring accomplishments. Unlike run-of-the-mill accomplishments that produce fleeting happiness, the pleasure from enduring accomplishments lasts long after that initial buzz. Enduring accomplishments are so critical that they separate those who are successful and happy from those who are always left wanting more.

Many researchers all over the globe have spent large sums of time to break down what these exceptional professionals did differently to achieve both long-lasting and fulfilling success. The researchers found that people who were both successful and happy over the long term intentionally structured their activities around four major needs:

Happiness: They pursued activities that produced pleasure and satisfaction.

Achievement: They pursued activities that got tangible results.

Significance: They pursued activities that made a positive impact on the people who matter most.

Legacy: They pursued activities through which they could pass their values and knowledge on to others.

Sustainable fulfillment comes when you pursue activities that address all four of these needs. When any one of them is missing, you get a nagging sense that you should be doing more (or something different).

They are passionate. Legendary sportsperson Sachin Tendulkar left his home at a tender age of 11 to be close to his coach Achrekar and changed his school to be closer to playground. He played multiple matches on same so that he could practice more. Yes, his family supported him but it was his passion & self belief which tool him where he is today – Most centuries. Most runs in all formats of cricket. Successful, happy people don’t just have interests; they have passions, and they devote themselves completely to them.

They swim against the current. There’s a reason that successful and happy people tend to be a little, well, different. To be truly successful and happy, you have to follow your passions and values no matter the costs. Just think what would have happened if Sachin Tendulkar pursued Tennis, Usain Bolt took a different profession, Amitabh Bachchan in a corporate role etc. They could have taken an easier route but they swam against the tide or normal things. They did something which they believed in! They learn more from their mistakes than from their successes.

They finish what they start. Coming up with a great idea means absolutely nothing if you don’t execute that idea. The most successful and happy people bring their ideas to fulfillment, deriving just as much satisfaction from working through the complications and daily grind as they do from coming up with the initial idea. There are many examples around us who pursued their ideas to finish even though everyone thought they are insane or lost their head – Bill Gates introduced computers & windows, Steve Jobs gave computing an all new meaning, Mark Zuckerberg gave birth to Facebook etc. We can debate whether they really had an end in mind but what they did was to keep pushing the envelope which changed the way we think / write & communicate.

They are resilient. To be successful and happy in the long term, you have to learn to make mistakes, look like an idiot, and try again, all without flinching. In other words, the most successful entrepreneurs put no time or energy into stressing about their failures as they see failure as a small and necessary step in the process of reaching their goals. Zuckerberg had a major court battle on Facebook’s creative idea and we can debate if he stole the idea but he executed it so well with his vision that it has become one of most valued companies across the globe. He could have given up but he did not.

They make their health a priority. There are an absurd number of links between your health, happiness, and success. Most of us believe to stay fit we need to eat right, exercise right to keep their weight right. However, the most important they miss which is “sleep right”. An average person needs 7-8 hrs of sound sleep and successful people make this a habit because the mind stops working at highest productivity beyond 9-10 hrs of work. I have seen some successful people who have their sleep time built into their “calendar".

They celebrate other people’s successes. Insecure people constantly doubt their relevance, and because of this, they try to steal the spotlight and criticize others in order to prove their worth. Confident people, on the other hand, are not worried about their relevance because they draw their self-worth from within. Instead of insecurely focusing inward, confident people focus outward, which allows them to see all the wonderful things that other people bring to the table.

They live outside the box. Successful & happy people are always challenging the status quo as they are not happy or satisfied by their current achievements. As mentioned earlier they like to push the envelope. If Steve Jobs was happy with Windows PC then Mac would not happened, Music would not have been revolutionized with advent of iPod if Jobs was happy with music CDs. I would like to take you back to the launch of iPhone in 2007 by Steve Jobs when he announced to the world – “and one more thing” and that was “iPhone” which can make calls, store music and browse internet. This is out of box disruptive thinking.

They don’t let anyone limit their joy. When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When successful, happy people feel good about something that they’ve done, they don’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

Bringing It All Together

People who are successful and happy are the people who have are self aware and have managed to focus on their circle of influence i.e. the areas they can influence which are within their “doing”. While I have tried to use many examples in blog but I would love to hear your comments and examples

You can write to me at abstractsfromgautam@gmail.com

Reference : Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradbury